I Miss My Ex So Much It’s Killing Me

I. Introduction

A. The Overwhelming Emotions of Missing an Ex

– Breakups can be emotionally challenging, and sometimes, missing your ex can feel like an unbearable burden.

Breakups are seldom easy, and they often bring a flood of complex emotions. While some separations might bring a sense of relief, others leave a lingering ache in your heart. It’s not uncommon to find yourself missing your ex deeply, even if you were the one who initiated the breakup. This article delves into the profound emotions that come with missing an ex-partner, exploring why it can feel so overwhelming and how to navigate this challenging journey of healing and self-discovery.

**II. The All-Consuming Grief**

  A. The Weight of Heartache

     – Explore the deep emotional pain and grief that can accompany missing your ex.

  Breakups often unleash a torrent of emotions, and grief is a significant part of that emotional storm. The weight of heartache can feel overwhelming, as if a part of your very being is missing. It’s not uncommon to experience physical symptoms like chest tightness, loss of appetite, and sleep disturbances when you miss your ex profoundly.

  This emotional pain can be all-consuming, making it difficult to focus on anything else. The memories, shared experiences, and the connection you once had can create a sense of loss that feels insurmountable.

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  B. Understanding the Stages of Grief

     – Discuss the stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, in the context of missing an ex.

  Grief is a process, and it often follows a pattern of stages that were initially introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross in her book “On Death and Dying.” These stages include:

  – **Denial:** Initially, you might deny the reality of the breakup, struggling to accept that the relationship has ended.

  – **Anger:** As reality sets in, you may experience anger towards your ex, yourself, or the situation. This anger can be directed inward or outward.

  – **Bargaining:** It’s common to wish for a way to turn back time or make things right. You might find yourself bargaining with a higher power or making promises to change in hopes of getting your ex back.

  – **Depression:** The sadness and loneliness of the breakup can lead to a period of depression. You may feel a deep sense of loss and hopelessness.

  – **Acceptance:** Ultimately, healing involves accepting the reality of the breakup and beginning to move forward with your life.

  It’s important to note that these stages are not linear, and you may move back and forth between them. Understanding the stages of grief can help you make sense of your emotions and provide a framework for processing the pain of missing your ex.

**III. Nostalgia and the Power of Memories**

  A. Recollection of Better Times

     – How nostalgia often focuses on the positive aspects of the past relationship.

  Nostalgia has a peculiar way of highlighting the best moments from the past while conveniently filtering out the less pleasant ones. When you miss your ex, it’s common for your mind to dwell on the positive aspects of the relationship. You might find yourself reminiscing about the laughter, the adventures, and the moments of connection you shared. This selective memory can make the past relationship seem almost idyllic, intensifying the feeling of missing your ex.

  The brain’s tendency to romanticize the past can be a double-edged sword. While it brings comfort in remembering the good times, it can also create a sense of longing for something you believe was perfect. Understanding that nostalgia often idealizes the past can help you gain perspective on your feelings.

  B. Sentimental Attachment

     – The emotional value of shared moments and experiences with your ex.

  Relationships are built on shared experiences, and these moments can hold deep emotional significance. Whether it’s a special vacation, a heartfelt conversation, or simply the day-to-day routines you had with your ex, these shared experiences create a sense of connection and intimacy.

  Sentimental attachment to these moments can be a powerful driver of missing your ex. It’s not just about missing the person; it’s about missing the life you built together. The sentimental value of these shared experiences can be emotionally potent, making it challenging to let go of the memories and move forward.

  Recognizing the role of nostalgia and sentimental attachment in your emotions can help you make sense of your feelings and work toward finding a healthy balance between cherishing the past and embracing the future.

**IV. The Void Left Behind**

  A. Loneliness and Isolation

     – The absence of companionship and the profound loneliness it can bring.

  One of the most challenging aspects of missing your ex is the profound sense of loneliness that often accompanies it. Your ex was not just a romantic partner; they were also a companion who provided emotional support and a sense of belonging. When that presence is suddenly gone, it can leave a void that is deeply felt.

  Loneliness after a breakup can be overwhelming. It can feel like there’s a void in your life that no one else can fill. You may long for the companionship, intimacy, and emotional connection you once had. This intense loneliness can contribute to the feeling that missing your ex is unbearable.

  B. Comfort in Familiarity

     – How the routines and habits of the relationship can leave a void.

  Relationships often come with a set of routines, habits, and shared activities. Whether it’s the way you spent your weekends, the daily texts or calls, or the comfort of having someone to share meals with, these routines become an integral part of your life.

  When a relationship ends, the sudden absence of these routines can create a void. You might find yourself missing not only your ex but also the familiar patterns that brought comfort and stability to your life. This void can make it challenging to adapt to a new routine and lifestyle without your ex.

  Coping with the loneliness and the void left behind requires time, self-care, and the support of friends and family. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings while also exploring new opportunities for connection and growth as you heal.

**V. The Struggle with Emotional Dependency**

  A. Codependency Dynamics

     – Recognizing codependent tendencies and their role in missing your ex.

  Codependency is a common dynamic in relationships where one or both partners rely excessively on the other for emotional validation, self-worth, and a sense of purpose. In codependent relationships, boundaries are often blurred, and the well-being of one person becomes intertwined with the other. When the relationship ends, it can lead to intense feelings of missing your ex, as they served as a source of emotional dependence.

  Recognizing codependent tendencies is a crucial step in understanding why you miss your ex so much. It’s essential to learn how to develop healthier boundaries, regain your sense of self, and build emotional independence.

  B. Self-Identity and Relationships

     – How your sense of self can become entwined with the relationship.

  In a relationship, it’s natural for your identity to become intertwined with your partner’s to some extent. However, in cases of emotional dependency or codependency, this fusion can be extreme. Your sense of self may become heavily reliant on the relationship, making it challenging to define who you are outside of it.

  When the relationship ends, you may feel like a part of your identity is missing, contributing to the intense feeling of missing your ex. It’s important to work on rediscovering and nurturing your individual identity, interests, and goals apart from the relationship.

  Overcoming emotional dependency involves self-awareness, self-love, and often seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these complex dynamics and develop healthier relationship patterns.

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**VI. Coping with the Pain**

  A. Dealing with Overwhelming Emotions

     – Strategies for managing and understanding the intense feelings of missing your ex.

  Coping with the pain of missing your ex can be incredibly challenging, but there are strategies that can help you navigate these overwhelming emotions:

  1. **Allow Yourself to Grieve:** Understand that it’s entirely normal to grieve the loss of a relationship, even if you initiated the breakup. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, and loneliness that come with it.

  2. **Talk to Friends and Family:** Sharing your feelings with trusted friends and family members can provide emotional support and comfort. Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network during this difficult time.

  3. **Journaling:** Keeping a journal can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions and gain insight into your feelings. Write about your thoughts, memories, and hopes for the future.

  4. **Self-Care:** Prioritize self-care activities that promote emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, mindfulness, and a healthy diet. Taking care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your emotional health.

  5. **Limit Contact:** If possible, consider limiting contact with your ex, especially in the early stages of the breakup. This can help create emotional space for healing.

  6. **Seek Closure:** If you feel there are unresolved issues, consider seeking closure through a respectful and calm conversation with your ex. Closure can be a crucial step in moving forward.

  B. The Benefits of Seeking Professional Help

     – How therapy or counseling can provide valuable support and guidance.

  Sometimes, the pain of missing your ex can become overwhelming, and you may find it challenging to cope on your own. In such cases, seeking professional help through therapy or counseling can be immensely beneficial. Here’s how therapy can assist you:

  1. **Emotional Support:** A therapist provides a safe and non-judgmental space to express your feelings and experiences. They can validate your emotions and offer guidance.

  2. **Insight and Understanding:** Therapy helps you gain a deeper understanding of the reasons behind your emotions, helping you process them more effectively.

  3. **Coping Strategies:** Therapists can teach you coping strategies and techniques to manage overwhelming emotions and build resilience.

  4. **Objective Perspective:** They offer an objective perspective on your situation, helping you see things from different angles and make informed decisions.

  5. **Goal Setting:** Therapists can assist in setting goals for personal growth, healing, and moving forward in a healthy way.

  Seeking professional help is a courageous step towards healing and can significantly improve your ability to cope with the pain of missing your ex. It’s a sign of self-care and self-compassion during a difficult time.

**VII. Finding Healing and Relief**

  A. Self-Reflection and Personal Growth

     – Using this period as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.

  While it’s natural to focus on missing your ex, the aftermath of a breakup also presents a unique opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Here’s how you can harness this period for your benefit:

  1. **Self-Discovery:** Take time to reconnect with yourself. Reflect on your goals, values, and aspirations. What are the things that make you happy and fulfilled as an individual?

  2. **Self-Care:** Prioritize self-care practices that nourish your body and soul. This can include hobbies, exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.

  3. **Set New Goals:** Use this time to set new personal and professional goals. What are the things you want to achieve independently of a relationship?

  4. **Learn from the Past:** Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned from the past relationship. What insights can you gain from the breakup that will help you in future relationships?

  B. Rebuilding Your Life

     – Steps to regain independence and build a fulfilling life without your ex.

  Rebuilding your life after a breakup involves taking intentional steps to regain your independence and create a fulfilling life without relying on your ex’s presence:

  1. **Reconnect with Friends:** Strengthen your existing friendships and consider making new social connections. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends can provide a strong emotional foundation.

  2. **Explore New Interests:** Engage in activities and hobbies you’re passionate about or discover new ones. This can help you find joy and purpose outside of the relationship.

  3. **Set Boundaries:** Establish healthy boundaries with your ex to protect your emotional well-being. This might include limiting contact or unfollowing them on social media.

  4. **Focus on Career and Personal Development:** Channel your energy into your career and personal growth. Achieving professional and personal goals can boost your self-esteem and sense of accomplishment.

  5. **Consider New Relationships Carefully:** If you choose to pursue new romantic relationships, do so with a sense of self-awareness and a clear understanding of what you want and need in a partner.

  Rebuilding your life is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. It’s an opportunity to create a life that aligns with your values and aspirations, independent of the past relationship.

**VIII. Moving Forward**

  A. The Healing Process

     – How time, self-care, and self-compassion contribute to moving on.

  Moving forward after missing your ex can be a gradual but transformative journey. Here’s how time, self-care, and self-compassion play crucial roles in this process:

  1. **Time as a Healer:** Time is a powerful healer. As days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the intensity of your emotions often diminishes. You may still miss your ex, but the pain becomes more manageable with time.

  2. **Self-Care as a Priority:** Continue to prioritize self-care. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and activities that bring you joy contribute to emotional well-being. Self-care practices are not only comforting but also essential for healing.

  3. **Self-Compassion:** Be kind to yourself. Understand that healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have setbacks or moments of sadness. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation.

  4. **Seeking Closure:** If you haven’t already, consider seeking closure with your ex in a respectful and constructive manner. Closure can help you find peace and clarity.

  B. Opening Up to New Possibilities

     – Embracing the potential for new relationships and experiences.

  As you heal and grow, it’s important to keep an open heart and mind to new possibilities:

  1. **Embrace Independence:** Relish in the independence and freedom you now have. Explore new experiences, travel, or take on new challenges that excite you.

  2. **Meet New People:** Expand your social circles and meet new people. Engaging in social activities or joining clubs and organizations can lead to meaningful connections.

  3. **Stay Open to Love:** While it’s crucial to focus on self-growth, don’t close yourself off to the possibility of love in the future. New relationships can bring joy, companionship, and new experiences.

  4. **Learn from the Past:** Carry the lessons and insights gained from your past relationship into the future. Use them as a compass to navigate new relationships and make healthier choices.

  Moving forward is a personal and unique journey for each individual. It’s about finding balance between honoring your past and embracing your future. With time and self-compassion, you can heal, grow, and open yourself up to new and fulfilling possibilities.

**IX. Dealing with Specific Scenarios**

  A. Miss My Ex So Much, But She Has Moved On

     – Coping with the challenge of missing your ex while knowing that they have moved on.

  It can be particularly painful to miss your ex when you’re aware that they have moved on to a new chapter in their life. In such situations, consider the following steps:

  1. **Accept Your Feelings:** It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, including sadness and jealousy, when your ex moves on. Allow yourself to acknowledge these feelings without judgment.

  2. **Limit Contact:** If seeing your ex with a new partner is triggering or painful, consider limiting contact or unfollowing them on social media to create emotional space for yourself.

  3. **Focus on Your Healing:** Redirect your energy towards your own healing and well-being. Continue to engage in self-care, seek support from friends and possibly a therapist, and work on personal growth.

  4. **Avoid Comparisons:** Remember that every individual’s journey is unique. Avoid comparing your progress to your ex’s or their new relationship. Focus on your own path.

  B. I Miss My Ex So Much, What Can I Do

     – Strategies to cope with the overwhelming feeling of missing your ex.

  When the feeling of missing your ex becomes overwhelming, it’s important to take action:

  1. **Seek Support:** Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings and gain emotional support.

  2. **Engage in Activities:** Keep yourself busy with activities you enjoy. This can help distract you from the pain and sadness.

  3. **Set Goals:** Set small goals for yourself. Achieving these goals can boost your self-esteem and provide a sense of accomplishment.

  4. **Journal Your Thoughts:** Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions and gain clarity.

  5. **Practice Mindfulness:** Mindfulness and meditation techniques can help you stay present and manage distressing thoughts and emotions.

  C. I Miss My Ex So Much Today

     – Coping with moments of intense longing and missing your ex on specific days.

  It’s common for the feeling of missing your ex to resurface on certain days or anniversaries. Here’s how to cope:

  1. **Acknowledge Your Emotions:** Instead of trying to suppress your feelings, acknowledge them. It’s okay to miss your ex on certain days.

  2. **Create New Traditions:** Consider creating new traditions or plans for those specific days to help shift your focus and create positive associations.

  3. **Reach Out for Support:** Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or loved ones for company and emotional support on days when you’re struggling.

  4. **Self-Care:** Engage in self-care activities that bring comfort and solace on those challenging days.

  D. Why Do I Miss My Ex So Much After Years

     – Understanding why you may still miss your ex even after a significant amount of time has passed.

  It’s not uncommon to continue missing an ex even years after a breakup. This can be attributed to the lasting impact of the relationship and the emotions associated with it. To cope:

  1. **Embrace Healing:** Recognize that healing is a unique journey for each person, and there is no set timeline for moving on.

  2. **Seek Closure:** If you haven’t already, consider seeking closure through a conversation or letter to address any lingering questions or unresolved feelings.

  3. **Therapy:** If your feelings persist and interfere with your well-being, therapy or counseling can provide valuable support and tools for understanding and managing those emotions.

  E. I Miss My Ex So Much I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Be Happy Again

     – Coping with the feeling that you may never find happiness after the breakup.

  Feeling like you’ll never be happy again is a common but temporary emotion. To address this:

  1. **Challenge Negative Thoughts:** Understand that this feeling is a distortion caused by intense emotions. Challenge these negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and hopeful ones.

  2. **Seek Professional Help:** If these feelings persist or lead to depression, it’s essential to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can assist you in managing your emotional well-being.

  F. I Miss My Ex So Much But I Know I Can’t See Him Now

     – Coping with the awareness that seeing your ex is not an option at the moment.

  Sometimes, it’s in your best interest to maintain no contact with your ex. Here’s how to cope:

  1. **Focus on Your Healing:** Use this time to prioritize your healing and well-being. No contact can provide emotional space for both you and your ex to heal.

  2. **Redirect Your Energy:** Channel your energy into self-care, personal growth, and activities that make you feel fulfilled.

  3. **Set Boundaries:** Maintain clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Communicate your need for space if necessary.

  4. **Seek Support:** Lean on friends, family, or a therapist for support during this challenging time.

Remember that healing from a breakup is a process, and it’s okay to seek help and support when needed. You are not alone in your feelings, and there is hope for a brighter


**IX. Dealing with Specific Scenarios (Continued)**

  F. I Miss My Ex So Much and It’s Been a Year

     – Coping with the prolonged feeling of missing your ex even after a significant amount of time has passed.

  If you find yourself missing your ex a year after the breakup, understand that healing is a unique process for each individual. Here’s how to navigate this situation:

  1. **Accept Your Emotions:** It’s entirely normal to miss your ex even after a year. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment.

  2. **Reflect on Progress:** Take a moment to reflect on the progress you’ve made in this year. What personal growth have you experienced, and how have your feelings evolved?

  3. **Revisit Your Goals:** Revisit your goals and aspirations. Use this opportunity to refocus on your dreams and work toward them.

  4. **Seek Closure:** If you haven’t sought closure, consider whether it might be helpful at this stage to address any lingering questions or emotions.

  G. I Miss My Ex So Much It’s Driving Me Crazy

     – Coping with the intensity of missing your ex when it becomes overwhelming.

  When missing your ex becomes so intense that it feels overwhelming, it’s essential to take immediate steps to manage your emotions:

  1. **Reach Out for Support:** Lean on friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support and a listening ear.

  2. **Practice Self-Care:** Prioritize self-care activities that help you relax and calm your mind, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.

  3. **Mindfulness:** Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and avoid ruminating on thoughts of your ex.

  4. **Distract Yourself:** Engage in activities that divert your attention and keep you occupied.

  5. **Professional Help:** If the feeling of missing your ex becomes unbearable or affects your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional who can provide strategies for managing intense emotions.

  H. Why Do I Miss My Ex So Much Even Though I Left Her

     – Understanding why you might miss your ex deeply, despite being the one who ended the relationship.

  Leaving a relationship doesn’t always instantly erase feelings. Here’s why you might miss your ex even if you initiated the breakup:

  1. **Emotional Attachment:** Emotional bonds formed during the relationship can persist, leading to feelings of missing your ex.

  2. **Nostalgia:** Nostalgia often focuses on the positive aspects of the past, making it easy to miss the good times.

  3. **Unfinished Business:** Lingering questions or unresolved issues can contribute to missing your ex. Consider seeking closure if needed.

  I. I Miss My Ex So Much Site:Reddit.com

     – Exploring online communities like Reddit for support and advice on missing your ex.

  Online forums like Reddit can be valuable sources of support when you’re missing your ex. Join relevant subreddits, such as r/BreakUps, r/ExNoContact, or r/relationships, to share your experiences and seek advice from others who have gone through similar situations.

  J. I Miss My Ex So Much but He Doesn’t Want to Date Me

     – Coping with unreciprocated feelings and the awareness that your ex doesn’t want to rekindle the relationship.

  If your ex doesn’t want to date you again, it’s crucial to respect their decision and focus on your well-being:

  1. **Accept the Reality:** Acknowledge that your ex’s feelings may have changed, and they may not want to rekindle the relationship.

  2. **Maintain Boundaries:** Respect their boundaries and decisions. Attempting to pressure or persuade them can be counterproductive.

  3. **Self-Care:** Prioritize self-care and engage in activities that promote your emotional well-being.

  4. **Seek Support:** Lean on friends, family, or a therapist for support during this challenging time.

  K. I Miss My Ex So Much, Should I Text Her

     – Considering whether or not to reach out to your ex when you’re overwhelmed by missing them.

  Deciding whether to text your ex is a personal choice, but it’s important to do so thoughtfully:

  1. **Reflect on Motives:** Consider why you want to text your ex. Are you seeking closure, friendship, or hoping to rekindle the relationship?

  2. **Respect Boundaries:** If your ex has made it clear they don’t want contact, respect their decision.

  3. **Consider Timing:** Assess whether this is the right time to reach out or if it’s best to wait until both you and your ex have had time to heal.

  4. **Consult with Friends or a Therapist:** Discuss your intentions with friends or a therapist to gain perspective on the potential consequences of reaching out.

Remember that any communication with your ex should be respectful and considerate of their feelings and boundaries.

Missing your ex to the point where it feels overwhelming can be a challenging emotional journey. However, it’s essential to remember that these feelings are a natural part of the healing process after a breakup. By acknowledging and understanding your emotions, seeking support when needed, and focusing on self-care and personal growth, you can navigate this difficult time.

Whether it’s been a year, you’re struggling with intense emotions, or you’re dealing with unreciprocated feelings, your experiences are valid. Take your time to heal, seek professional help if necessary, and know that there is hope for brighter days ahead.

In the end, embracing your emotions and learning from them will help you grow stronger and move forward on your journey to happiness and fulfillment. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and many have walked a similar path to find happiness once more.

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   FAQ section for “I Miss My Ex So Much It’s Killing Me”:

**Q1. Why do I miss my ex so much, and why does it hurt this badly?**

A1. Missing your ex deeply and feeling intense emotional pain is a common response to a breakup. It’s a reflection of the emotional bond you shared and the loss you’ve experienced. It’s okay to feel this way; it’s part of the healing process.

**Q2. How long will this feeling of missing my ex last?**

A2. The duration varies from person to person. Healing takes time, and it’s essential to allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Over time, the intensity of these feelings will typically diminish.

**Q3. What can I do to cope with the overwhelming sadness of missing my ex?**

A3. Coping with intense emotions requires self-care. Engage in activities you enjoy, seek support from friends and family, consider therapy, and practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques to manage your feelings.

**Q4. Is it normal to feel like I can’t function or focus on anything else because I miss my ex so much?**

A4. Yes, it’s normal to have difficulty focusing on other aspects of life when you’re overwhelmed by missing your ex. It’s a sign of the deep emotional impact of the breakup. Gradually, you’ll regain your ability to concentrate on other aspects of your life.

**Q5. Is there any way to make these feelings go away faster?**

A5. Healing is a gradual process, and there’s no fixed timeline for recovery. However, practicing self-care, seeking support, and staying patient can help you move through these feelings at your own pace.

**Q6. Can I reach out to my ex to tell them how much I miss them?**

A6. Whether or not to reach out to your ex is a personal decision. It’s crucial to consider your motives and the potential consequences. If you do decide to contact them, ensure it’s done respectfully and with their boundaries in mind.

**Q7. What if I miss my ex but know that getting back together isn’t an option?**

A7. Missing your ex while recognizing that rekindling the relationship isn’t feasible is a common dilemma. Focus on self-healing, personal growth, and moving forward. Explore new interests, set new goals, and gradually the intensity of missing your ex may lessen.

**Q8. Should I talk to a therapist or counselor about how much I miss my ex?**

A8. Consulting with a therapist or counselor can be highly beneficial when you’re struggling with intense emotions. They can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your feelings, gain insight into your emotions, and support your healing process.

**Q9. Is it healthy to keep checking my ex’s social media profiles if I miss them deeply?**

A9. Constantly checking your ex’s social media can prolong the healing process and intensify your feelings. It’s advisable to practice No Contact to give yourself space to heal without being reminded of your ex.

**Q10. Will I ever stop missing my ex so much?**

A10. Over time, the intensity of your feelings will likely diminish. While you may always have some fond memories, you’ll find that you can move forward and find happiness in new experiences and relationships. Remember that healing is a journey, and brighter days await.  

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Why do I miss my ex so much?

You may miss your ex due to the emotional connection you shared, the memories you built together, or the fear of being alone. It’s natural to feel this way after a breakup.

How can I cope with missing my ex?

To cope with missing your ex, focus on self-care, spend time with friends and family, engage in hobbies, seek professional help if needed, and slowly build a new routine to move forward.

Is it normal to feel like it’s killing me to miss my ex?

It’s normal to feel intense emotions after a breakup, including feeling like missing your ex is overwhelming. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship while taking steps to heal and grow.

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